so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize