walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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