you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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