He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
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Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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