you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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