i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
