can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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