I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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