i permit you to call me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
