i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
