I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
