I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
