I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
