some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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