Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Farmville is her only friend.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
