they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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