I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
