You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
