How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
