he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
