Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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