Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
