I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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