worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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