Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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