see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
NoShamevember. You game?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
