Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
