Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
