Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize