Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i need to put some appletini on your dick
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
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