How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
