He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This house was built for laser tag.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
