i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
