mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize