They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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