that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
