goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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