There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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