How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
