my being single is dangerous.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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