A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
