census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
