I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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