You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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