we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
