I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
