STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
