The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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