let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
