I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
