thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
please come you make the beer taste better
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How external is "for external use only"?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
