Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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