he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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