so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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