Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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