Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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