I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
