is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
