Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
