I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to