Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
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Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO